Saturday, 6 June 2009

Saturday morning musings........

Scientists decoding the human genome have discovered that just 78 genes separate men from women. But what are they?

It's the Y chromosome which makes men men, and now scientists have a better idea than ever before what makes it up.

But lets help them on their way, and in an effort to help us all understand the differences between the sexes, here are my suggestions what those 78 genes might be.

Everyone's got their own ideas about it - even if it only involves relative abilities at reading maps and putting down toilet seats.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS LIST.............he he (as I use the male 'and no, I'm not shouting' gene.....grinning)


Women have the 'understand colour' gene. They seem to know what to wear all the time. Men have the 'red is nice, pink is nice, so why not have them together?' gene.

Men have the 'no opinions about drapes and curtains' gene.

Women have the 'Oh dear, the toilet paper is on its last sheet; must replace it immediately' gene. This is entirely absent in men who have the 'Oh s..t! Can you pass me a toilet roll, love?' gene!

Women have a 'built in calendar' gene - they remember birthdays, anniversaries and appointments effortlessly.

Women have the 'directional gene'. Ask a woman in the street how to get somewhere and she will direct via shops & stores. Ask a man and it will be via pubs and bars.

Men have the 'speak in sentences' gene. Women have the 'speak in paragraphs' gene.

Women have the 'all you want is a glass of wine, nodding sympathy and a good whinge' gene. Men have the 'offer a solution' gene.

If you told a woman that you had just returned from a trip to the surface of the Moon, she would show her interest by using the 'asking who you had gone with' gene.

Women are missing the 'parking a car in between two straight white lines in an empty car park' gene

Men have the 'when they want something they ask for it' gene. Women have the 'when they want something they make a point distantly related to the subject and wait for a response' gene.

Men have the 'sit in public places with their legs wide open without noticing how startlingly unattractive it is' gene.

Men have the 'ability to make a la, la, la, not listening face' gene.


  1. Men have the 'know-it-all' gene that, when you see it under a microscope, looks somewhat fragmented and deluded. Women put up with this corrupted gene, of course; (and to a point) as the woman's 'know-it-all' gene is ever-present but elusive, meaning it has a strong structure of 'sense' with the shielding of 'I'll keep quiet and do what I think best anyway'. ;~P

  2. Do like Catfish's comment and I think she is right on point.

    From my years of teaching skiing to both men and women I can tell you that women often do not know right from left and pointing works best for direction. However when you point a diection with a man they want to stop and see if there is something to shoot at.

    And somewhere in every ski lesson with a man the "why?" gene becomes really annoying and you have to confront it with the "because I told you so gene" or the "do you have issues with taking instruction from a woman" discussion.

    Men also never ask for directions which always made me wonder why they signed up for lessons in the first place. I believe it may have been so I could tell them what naturally born super skiers they were. But I could never lie to that extent. Is thata gene?

  3. "Old woman, old woman!"


  4. I once heard it said that men give directions by street names (take Main Street, to Elm, turn right and go to First Avenue, etc.), while women focus more on landmarks (follow Main Street till you come to the Safeway store, turn right and go a few blocks till you come to a school, etc.)

    I think the women's way makes far more sense.

    I am often asked directions from passing drivers when I'm working in my yard. I try to keep in mind these differences and offer both street names AND landmarks.

    I would ask everyone when giving directions to please not use Up, Down, or Over. Neither my brain nor my car can process those directions.

  5. I think the male has a very strong sense of pride gene, which precludes admitting he was wrong! And he must "be" all-knowing. The female will always please herself in the end!

  6. I think Derrick is right in that last comment, though I'm trying to decide if the male does not also please himself in the end.

    I read once that women look inward to their relationships (nurturing and concerned about the relationship), while men look outward (somewhat taking the relationship for granted or at least more concerned with external pressures). This is sort of illustrated in the painting American Gothic (I'll attempt a American Gothic here.)

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  8. Oh, one more characteristic and then I'll stop. Men sniff a shirt before wearing to determine if it's still clean enough to wear. Women don't need to as they have already laundered the shirt.

  9. I met a couple once when I was buying my first Bernese Mountain Dog who really enlightened me on this topic. As he was explaining the hobby of carting, he said "We have a book on how to build them. You find it darling!" he beamed turning to his wife. "You have the uterus locating device!" I know at my house, I am often called upon to locate the the "missing" item which is often in plain view!

  10. Great responses folks thank you........just as I I identify with much that has been said!
    Vive la difference (without the grammatic